June 16, 2021

At the beginning of this I used to ride my bike a few times a week and go to the park near the trail

I’d stare at the growing leaves and sometimes cloudless sky

And think of you

How “perfect” you were

How imperfect I was

This park

With the jungle gym that no kid uses

With the court where there are no hoops

I’d sit on the concrete stirring in

Coulds

And

Wishes

If’s and

Maybe’s

I’d remember your eyes, how they looked at me with such intent

Butterflies would dance in my stomach and my face would grow hot

My mind a screen as I watched the movie of our first date

My body would feel the exact emotions I felt then

I’d feel worse about myself the moment I got out of my mind

After, I’d think of ways to impress you

For you to want me

Sometimes I miss those heartbreak mornings

It gave me something to write about

I’ve come to this park again and I feel serene

Content because my feelings for you are mostly gone

And the crushing hug of heartbreak has disappeared

When I come back at the end of this, hopefully thoughts of you won’t appear again

Thank you

I was looking through my notes and I found this lovely masterpiece! I totally forgot I wrote this, but I like it a lot.